Parenting Strategies and Tips

Parents Tips for Raising an Infant

in
In my work for the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, I specialize in a particular type of relationship - the one between a parent and a child. Specifically, much of my work focuses on infants and toddlers. I see many parents struggle as they try to do the best job with their children, and yet it is difficult because parenting is one of the world's most challenging jobs. For parents of infants, there are many resources available to help make the challenge a little easier.

Recently, I attended a conference on the psychological assessment of infants, the goal of which is to ensure healthy development for the infant. I want to tell you about a wonderful resource online that we discussed at the conference. The good news is that you can use this site to cultivate your parenting skills: www.zerotothree.org.

Check out this website and you can find all kinds of resources that relate to infant development. Specifically, look for information on developmental milestones - you can actually investigate on your own whether your child is meeting the developmental milestones that have been established for various stages of infancy.

This is not the only online resource, in fact, for parenting tips on raising infants. If you have a computer at home, spend some time doing searches for websites that focus on raising this particular aged child. You will be astonished at the wealth of information at your fingertips!

Article by Dr. Seth Meyers
Read more articles by Dr. Seth Meyers at: www.DrSeth.blogspot.com
or visit his web site http://www.drsethrelationshipexpert.com/.

Childhood Chores Teach Family Responsibility

in

 Even at a very early age, children like to emulate activities of both parents and their older siblings.  We've all seen a two year-old try to sweep the floor or help mix cupcake batter.  What better time to start nurturing this almost innate sense of family.

It is never too early to help your child develop a real sense of family responsibility.  We all know kids in their teens, and even twenties, that feel a sense of 'entitlement' about everything.  They act like everyone owes them and that they don't need to do their part in the family.  If children are taught, as young children, that they are an integral part of the family and, as such, they have an important part in the family, then this will help them to develop a greater family bond.

By letting young children help to do things, such as dusting, sweeping with a little broom, wiping out sinks and baking cooking, it will give them a feeling of accomplishment and pride in doing a good job.  Always be sure to praise your child, letting them know what a wonderful job they have done.

Tics: Unvoluntary: Catch What You Can

in

“You can’t hold in a sneeze or a cough forever, that’s how hard it is to stop. It’s not because I want to, it’s because I have to.” --Boy in HBO Special: I have Tourette’s, but Tourette’s Doesn’t Have Me.

Helping Your Kids to Develop Good Sibling Relationships

in

 

It is always awe-inspiring to me when I see siblings helping each other or cooperating during play.  Sometimes this comes naturally to kids and sometimes it doesn't.  Although their genetic makeup and personality play a part, parental behavior and guidance are big factors in this equation.

As we all know, kids learn from example and if you, as a parent, are teaching, through your own relationships with your partner and your own relatives, values such as kindness, compassion and patience, these things will rub off on your children.  It is not always going to be peace, quiet and happiness with your kids but your example will be helping to build their set of values and character.

Another way you can help your kids to develop their sibling relationships is to take charge of their activities.  I'm not referring to being a dictator here but I do think all parents need to take an active interest in their children's daily activites.  Kids who spend a large majority of their time, unsupervised, watching television or playing games on a computer are not interacting with their siblings.  Some activites along these lines are great but parents need to make sure that there are other activites that require cooperation and participation.  Games, in particular, are good since children have to learn to get along and display a certain amount of patience with each other.  These can be indoor or outdoor games, for example, send them on scavenger hunts as a "team" rather than independently.

The Battle of Screen Time- 5 Ways to Stop the Screaming and Limit the Screen Time

in

The average child under 6 years spends 2 hours a day watching TV and two-thirds of children under 2 are also spending an average of 2 hours a day watching TV.Kids between the ages of 8 and 18 spend 4 hours a day watching TV and another 2 on the computer or playing video games. For children over 8, that is over 40 hours of screen time a week. Excessive amounts of time in front of the TV, Computer and Video Games is detrimental to children. Instead of spending so much time in front of the screen, children need to be active, learning about their world and interacting with others. We need to pull in the reigns and set lower limits for screen time for our kids and also enforce the limits. It is easier than you think to set reasonable and healthy screen time amounts (tv,computer and video games)and to stick to the limits. If you are currently allowing your kids to watch TV and play the computer and video games at will or more than you would like, it will take a week or two to get everyone on board for a new system but any difficulty in the transition, will be worth the longer term pay off. You need to consider and come up with a plan in order to set and enforce the amount of time your kids watch TV, and play the computer or video games in your house. 1. Set the House Rules for Screen Time- How Much TV, Computer and Video Game Time is Allowed Each Day and for the Week Consider the age of each of your children when deciding what is appropriate. Also, consider their schedule and what you would like to convey. For example, do you want school nights to be screen free except for research?

Bedwetting - Recognizing That It Is Not the Child's Fault & What You Can Do

in

 

As many as 8% of children wet the bed after they have been potty trained. This is a common problem with children from six to eight years old, and it continues for some up until they are around 11.  It is more common in boys and in families in which one or both parents wet the bed as a child.

Bedwetting is not your child's fault.  It is often caused because children child have a small bladder capacity, cannot tell when their bladder is full at night, or during stressful situations.  It is classified as Primary, children who have never had dry nights, or Secondary, children who had previously been dry for 3-6 months.

What can you to do help your child until he grows out of this problem?

1.  Let your child know that this is perfectly normal and that it happens to many kids his age.  Let him know that it definitely isn't his fault and do not ever punish or blame your child for wetting the bed.  Do not let anyone tease him about the problem.

2. Make sure your child uses the toilet immediately before going to bed.

3. Restrict any large amount of fluids, whenever possible, two hours before bedtime.

4. Take your child to the toilet before you go to bed and see if this is helpful.

5. Use a plastic mattress pad to keep the mattress dry and make changing sheets easier.

Thankfully, with night-time waterproof underwear available, for occasional or full-time use, keeping the bed dry and making your child more comfortable is easier.

 

Rarely is bedwetting caused by a disease or physical problem, but parents will want to be alert to any other existing symptoms, such as:

-  Frequent urination along with pain which could indicate a Urinary Tract Infection.

Consistent Parenting Advice - Teaching Children Self Respect, Self Control and Empathy

in

For many parents the word discipline has very negative connotations. We associate it with our own childhood and it can conjure up some pretty unpleasant memories! Some of us associate discipline with corporal punishment, with spanking, hitting and being hurt both physically and emotionally. The problem around this is often parents unwittingly emulate the discipline patterns with their own children that they received, or pendulum swing to the opposite and become limitless with few boundaries.

There is a middle ground. Parenting discipline, for me, is about teaching children ways to grow that enable them to feel safe, have self respect, self control, and empathy for others. I do not believe in harsh, punitive or punishing methods of discipline. But I am a firm believer that all children need to have boundaries and limits, and they need us to put these limits in place for them.

Good discipline is about being firm, clear and consistent as parents - about being definite, kind and respectful - about showing, teaching and enabling our children. I believe that at the heart of good parenting discipline are clear, firm and consistent limits with explanations, conversations, teaching and consequences.

Teaching Self Respect through Understanding From an early age our children want and need our approval. They need to know that they are loved, cherished and wanted. They really do not like to be out of sorts with us and need to feel closely attached in order to enable a growing sense of self respect.

In other words they want to do what is right in order to have our constant approval. They want to know how to do the right thing and they need us to teach them the way to go about this.

Take Advantage of Thrift Shops for Kids Clothing & Save Money

in

As an avid thrift store shopper, I guarantee that you can save a bundle of money by shopping at second-hand stores.  It always amazes me that I can leave with hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise for less than twenty dollars or less.

Some of my favorite pieces of clothing have been purchased at thrift stores.  You can often find clothing that has never been worn, with tags still attached.  If you pay attention to some of the most eclectic NY apartments featured in magazines, some of their most unusual finds have been from thrift shops or discarded for trash. 

If you live in a fairly large city, your options are increased since you will find a greater number of thrifts to choose from.  The best items usually can be found in areas that are located in more upscale communities.  But don't forget to check out any thrift shop close by.  You never know when you might come across that great find.  Some great pieces of art have been purchased this way.

If you are shopping for kids clothing, thrift shops and garage sales are the way to go.  Next-to-new furniture can also be found.  My friend is basically furnishing her entire house this way.  If you haven't tried thrift shopping before now, it's a good time to start!

Money Matters- Lessons to Teach your Kids about Money- Saving, Spending and Donating

in

Green makes the world go round.  It seems more than ever before, many kids today do not understand how parents make money, how they decide to spend, save, donate and invest their money or how they have to allocate the household income.  To many kids money is just a means to an end.  They want something and they need money to get what they want.  With the prevalence of television, computers, radio and peer-pressure present in a majority of kids daily lives, children are bombarded by more and more commercials and messages to consume more and more material possessions than ever before.  And many parents give in and buy their kids many of the possessions their kids beg them for.

 I believe the perfect time to teach your kids about money begins when they are very small. Start when they are as young as 2 to 3 years old. Of course for a very little child, they can only comprehend a little bit about money, but it is your actions that are important at this age.

Decide what messages you want to teach your child when they are older, such as, you have to make smart choices about how you spend your money; you have to budget so you have enough money for rent, food, a car, gas, utilities, savings, and spending money. Although your kids may be very young and you might think you do not have to think about money talks yet, this is when to start the foundation that you will build upon for when they get to be pre-teen and teens.

Raise Your Child to Succeed

in

Kids Helping

Parents often say, “I hope when my child goes off to college or moves out they make the right decisions.” Or “I hope they can take care of themselves.” 

What I would say to those parents is- it is the early lessons they learn from us that allow them to succeed in life.

This is not an article coming from an academic but rather a parent that wants the best for her own children and who was a child and has grown into an adult and observed hundreds of others move through these stages with varying degrees of success.

First of all, the truth is that the earlier we start teaching our children important lessons and give them responsibility, the easier it will be to continue those lessons as our children reache their teenage years and approach their twenties.

If we want to raise a child that will be a responsible, productive adult, who can take care of themself, we need to start paying attention to the messages we are giving our children even when they are very young. 

Of course, we should put having fun and allowing kids to explore their worlds first, but we should be slowly introducing money management, teamwork, household responsibility, ownership and social cooperation to our children.

Start Teaching Lessons Early
 By the time your child is 3 you can already have them help you with easy tasks around the house.  When you are doing laundry, allow your child to help you.  Let them help carry the clothes or put them in the dryer or help you pour the detergent in the washer.  It is fun to help mom at that age and without even saying anything you are starting to lay the foundation for teamwork, cooperation and household responsibility.